I was hooked on Brazil in 1986 World Cup and the “drug” has been an addiction ever since.
As “we” start “our” 2018 campaign against Switzerland, haters like Nurudeen Obalola would want to remind us of the time we went from being top dog (as host in 2014) to being dog food after embarrassingly finishing fourth; conceding 10 goals in our last two games to Germany and Holland.
All is not lost though and no matter the frustration because of the huge expectation (we are always the favourites in every edition), there is always a solution to all associated with the gold-and-green of Brazil.
So, here are survival tips when haters like Obalola starts going down 2014 unmemorable lane!
“Germany won the last World Cup? Stop kidding me. It never happened.”
It will elicit a curious look from your accuser’s face which will make him unsure of himself for a split second. Take advantage of this momentary victory and change the subject. Talk about the Boko Haram crisis in Nigeria.
You will really need to be a good actor, in the class of Olu Jacobs, to pull this through. You could crumble when the lights and camera are on you. To be forewarned…
“Germany won the World Cup? Did they? Oh, well done. To be honest, I lost interest in football in 2002 (say the year loud) when we won the title for the fifth time in Korea/Japan. (Stifle a yawn and look disinterested in the topic)”
It’s quite possible to lose interest in anything, so this could work. Except of course you are not a sports journalist, analyst, or coach!
You must remain in the lose-interest-mode forever and for a diehard fan, which you truly are, is impossible.
Your accuser may ask you about the Brazil jersey (with your name embossed at the back) he saw on you the previous day when Nigeria lost to Croatia. If you are able to wriggle out of this, you then must give away all things Brazilian in your wardrobe. But can you afford to?
Also, you are in a losing situation being a Mr Fading Interest. If it’s believed, you’ll be treated with disdain. If it’s not believed, you’ll be called a traitor who can’t stand by his team when in their lowest ebb.
MY ENEMY’S ENEMY
“Germany won the last World Cup? Great! Thank God it wasn’t Argentina.”
There is no love lost between you and your noisy neighbour so being happy after Argentina lost to Germany is understandable. Your accuser will understand as well. Moreover, they are fans of Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo 3-0 Messi so far in Russia!
The only demerit here is if you tell that to Diego Maradona. But then it’s not a disadvantage because Maradona is happy Messi has not won the World Cup!
“Well, we wanted to give another country a chance so we rehired the geriatric Scolari to make it easy for our opponents.”
Better to put on this show of arrogance than being a laughing stock, right? Most definitely.
Also, no one can disprove your claim. At 65 in 2014, was Luiz Felipe Scolari young? No. Was he not rehired after Brazil won the trophy in 2002? He was.
The money the Brazilian government spent on hosting the competition as well as on the team doesn’t really offer support to the argument. Obalola and your other accusers may suggest you go for a psychiatric test if you hold on to this point.
“Germany won it because Neymar was injured.”
2014 World Cup Poster Boy, Neymar, lived up to the hype with silky skills and goals before bowing out to injury against Colombia in the quarter-final, so obviously, you have a strong argument here.
And of course, Brazil lost 7-1 to Germany in his absence.
Obalola will likely tell you “who cares”.
He could also say that you had a one-man team in an 11-a-side game! Remind him of Maradona in 1986 and Ronaldo in 2018. Ronaldo 3-0 Messi!
OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND
“Please, the 2014 World Cup is over. My mind is on the 2018 World Cup.”
No point in crying over missed opportunity of a sixth World Cup win – you have moved on. And it is true anyway. Moreover, 2018 offers another opportunity. The past is in the past!
Also, it will buy you a bit of time. At least till July 15, 2018!
None. July 15, 2018, is not today!
No Argentine, German, Dutch, and even Obalola, the Nigerian will subject you to a taunting session when you run away from them. Try Russia!
There is an odd chance that you will find new accusers in Russia!
Do a Marouane Fellaini by growing long hair. Grow a moustache to boot. Dress like Muhammadu Buhari despite being an Esan man from Ekpoma. Using a walking-stick is not a bad idea too.
Not even the nosey Maradona will recognise you.
Argentines may think you’re one of them and want to talk to you about how ‘Messi almost won the World Cup at the home of those b-s-a-d Brazilians.’ Double wahala for deadi bodi!
If you use any of these approaches and it goes against you, you’d better fake your death and start on a clean slate. Maybe as a German.
Come on, Brazil!